Do as I Say . . . Not as I Do . . . Ple-ease (!)

A quick post today.  As you may know if you read my FB posts, I finally submitted HA-HA-HA-HA (the fifth book in the Triple Threat Investigation Agency series) to Next Chapter. 

Was I proud?  Happy?  Relieved?  As Rey might say, you betcha!

Lo and behold, I went to cut and paste the epilogue of the next (sixth) book into a new Word document and what did I find?!  That I’d left 10 pages of research notes and the like at the end.  Groannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.

<bleep>  I could have sworn I’d deleted those.  Where the <bleep, bleep> did those suckers come from!?  Great editor/proofer, huh?  I couldn’t catch a major faux pas in my own book.  I’m not sure whether to laugh hysterically or weep profusely. 

I’m slapping myself mentally for having been so dim-witted.  Like really? 

And that leads me to the message of this post.  Proof and edit before you submit something—again and again.  It will save in the embarrassment department, unless you’re thick-skinned, of course, and could care less.  I, however, do care . . . very much.

Be as professional as you can be, and take pride in that professionalism.  Do as I say, not as I do.  Groannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.

Hopping Happy

It’s Rey, hey!

And JJ, hey-hey.

Hey, that’s my word.

You have exclusive rights to it, Rey?  He-ey, it’s Linda.  We’re giving our Boss the day off.  None of us could agree (quelle surprise) as to what we should post about so, given it’s Easter weekend, we thought we’d simply share what we’re up to.  Nothing informative or educational or enlightening.

WPfreepickDOTesYesterday, Cousin Jilly (JJ, as you know her), Lindy-Loo, my best friend (for the time being), and I had a super quiet Friday.  JJ grilled fish, ahi to be exact, Linda prepared roasted potatoes with dill and crunchy green beans, and I made two salads—Thai and Greek.  They were particularly tasty, I might add.  Dee-lish, in fact.

WPall-free-downloadDOTcomThat’s my humble Cousin Reynalda for you.  Today, the three of us are coloring eggs . . . a new one for us.  My cous got the idea from a Food Network show she got caught up in, and Linda thought it might be great fun to do.  I’m not sure about it being “great”, but it’ll certainly be enjoyable (if not messy).

WPpublicdomainpicturesDOTnetRey’s heading to the mall to buy chocolate bunnies and stuff.  Given she’s the queen of sales, bar none, JJ and I are sure she’ll bring home some fabulous finds.  I just hope she doesn’t go overboard; those sales are also her weakness (as her monthly credit-card statements will attest to). 

Tomorrow, we’ll have an Easter barbecue with a few neighbors, then head to the North Shore around six.  A fellow P.I. is throwing a luau.  We are so in for that.

And there you have it: an effortless Easter weekend post.

May Mr. Bunny bring you lots of treats.

giphy

Hau’oli Lā Pakoa!

Five . . . Still Live

As in still available, available, on Amazon.  Hey, it’s Rey again.  For just 99 cents, you can get a copy of Coco’s Nuts.  But today’s the last day, so-o, don’t procrastinate (my new word).

The third mystery in the Triple Threat Investigation Agency series, Coco’s Nuts, finds us—still pretty much rookie private eyes—trying to prove that socialite-turned-trucker Buddy Feuer did not shoot her boss, infamous entrepreneur Jimmy Picolo.  She didn’t shoot her best friend, Eb Stretta, either.

No matter what police believe and evidence suggests, JJ, Linda and I are sure as <bleep> that Buddy was set up.  In the quest for answers, we have to deal with a slew of suspects.  A lot of people hated Picolo enough to kill him, but locating the one who pulled the trigger sure proves challenging.

Please check out how we solved this complicated (and exciting) case at: https://www.amazon.ca/Cocos-Nuts-Tyler-Colins/dp/1078374368

Four . . . Only Two More

. . . days to get Coco’s Nuts for only 99 cents!

It’s JJ today.  Linda’s doing volunteer work at the shelter and Rey’s off on a theater audition, and our Boss is running amok (don’t ask).

The three of us, aspiring P.I.s from the Triple Threat Investigation Agency, undertake our second major assignment: proving our client, once-socialite-Vassar-grad-turned-trucker Buddy Feuer, isn’t responsible for two murders.  Despite what the folks in blue maintain, she [really] had no motive to kill her boss, infamous entrepreneur Jimmy Picolo.  Nor did she murder her best friend, Eb Stretta, a fellow trucker and Picolo employee.

Yes, the evidence points to Buddy being the murderer, but we’re convinced that Buddy has been set up.  Nutty Coco Peterson, another Picolo employee, has been MIA since the murders went down, and appears to be a central piece in this perplexing puzzler.  But where is the little sh-uh-prat?

As we endeavor to uncover a killer amid another cast of curious and unconventional characters, we find ourselves in some dangerous situations—exploding bombs, for example, suggest we’ve ruffled a few feathers by asking too many questions.  Hopefully, we’ll obtain some legitimate answers before anything significant blows up . . . like us!

Coco's Nuts11111Maybe you’d like to accompany us on this challenging and thrilling ride?  If so, please check us out at: https://www.amazon.ca/Cocos-Nuts-Tyler-Colins/dp/1078374368

Three … Almost Free

You have Linda today and I’m here to remind you about the 99-cent Coco’s Nuts promo.  It’s Day Three, two more to go.

Coco’s Nuts is the third mystery in the Triple Threat Investigation Agency series and it has the three of us newbie private investigators—JJ, Rey, and myself—pursuing our second official assignment: proving socialite-turned-trucker Buddy Feuer didn’t shoot her boss, infamous entrepreneur Jimmy Picolo.

Instead of revealing too much, maybe I can pique your interest by providing an excerpt.

As beautiful as a Bamboo Orchid and as cool as an English cucumber, Buddy Feuer seemed neither fazed nor anxious, given the grave predicament. Tall and willowy, the thirty-four-year-old former society woman turned truck driver was easy on the eyes no matter what your predilection. A “looker” or “dish” she might have been called back in the days of gin rickeys, trilbys, and gumshoes. Some females truly lucked out in the comeliness lottery, as unconventional, chinchilla-faced Aunt Rowena Jaye was often heard to utter about a relation or friend (with a wistful, wishful sigh).

Buddy had contacted the Triple Threat Private Investigation Agency after researching our involvement — and success — with the handling of the “Gruesome Twosome Case” (as we’d jokingly dubbed our first P.I. job) and the ensuing arrest of our client, William Pierponce Howell. The now-deceased WP Howell had been as wealthy as he’d been eccentric (a tactful way of saying f’g zany) and the murder of his young, pretty wife was not the only crime he’d been guilty of. HPD’s Detective Gerald “Ald” Ives had been gracious enough during a media interview to credit the agency with providing “some valid crime-stopping information”, which had led to the apprehension of the millionaire and his equally culpable (f’g zany) partner. The truth was we’d done considerably more, but we were cool with letting HPD take credit.

Our latest assignment was fairly clear-cut: prove Buddy hadn’t murdered renowned entrepreneur Jimmy Silone Picolo III.

Jimmy Man-I’m-Fabulously-Rich Picolo was second-generation owner of a hapu’upu’u pickling factory called Braddah Jimmy’s Pickled Aquatic Delights (who’d have guessed preserved fish cheeks and eyes could be such popular delicacies). In addition, the shrewd man owned JSP Capital-Credit Corporation and Balz to the Walz Incorporated, a demolition-construction company that knocked down buildings as rapidly as it put them up. There were also pet projects here and there, little businesses he absorbed or annihilated.

Slim and trim and relatively short, Jimmy was a cross between Dean Martin and Sal Mineo in their heydays. Over the years, the attractive man had rubbed a few people the wrong way. You see, equally successful had been his loansharking and racketeering — excuse me, alleged loansharking and racketeering.

Unlike Jimmy Silone Picolo II, who’d been indicted on racketeering and murder in the 70s, “III” had never been convicted of anything. Equally charmed and charming, he’d navigated the tranquil waters of life and business with a multi-thousand-dollar smile and a playful monarch-like wave . . . of the middle finger. The odd time the folks in blue had become involved, paperwork transformed into ashes and lawsuits dropped like smoldering charcoal briquettes. Witnesses developed curious cases of amnesia or hopped continent-bound jets faster than Hollywood celebrities changed partners.

Picolo had been found in an alley in the business district, not far from his opulent Bishop Street office. The capital-credit company took up half the fourth floor while the main office occupied the entire top floor. Lavishly decorated with marble, crystal, and 14-K gold, it even held an interior waterfall rumored to stream champagne instead of water. How decadent was that? No longer a concern, however: expanding that firm fiscal foothold and/or working long hours while sitting in a gold-trimmed leather barrister chair before said waterfall. The quinquagenarian’s face had greeted a brick wall several times before three bullets created cranial air vents. Had he survived, attractive would certainly no longer have described Jimmy Silone Picolo III.

If you’d like to learn how we tackle this challenging and goosebump-exciting (Rey demanded I throw that “adjective” in) case . . . or would like to leave a review (we would be greatly appreciative if you did), please check us out at . . . https://www.amazon.ca/Cocos-Nuts-Tyler-Colins/dp/1078374368

Forever Poi, Not a Ploy

Just a straight-out 99-cent promo.  Hey, it’s Rey again.  And it’s the last day for you to get Forever Poi for less than a buck.  I say, that’s a steal.

Forever Poi is our agency’s—The Triple Threat Investigation Agency, ‘case you forgot or somethin’—third official (paying) case.  Linda, JJ, and I have to discover who set fire to two upscale art galleries and left two bodies in the rubble.  One was the co-owner and the other was a former queenpin.  There seem to be some valid if not interesting reasons why people might have wanted them dead.

We stumble across a few bodies as we do our private-eye thing, which adds to the head-scratching.  Who wanted who (or is that whom) dead and why?  This case proves to be anything but easy.  But who doesn’t like a challenge or two? 

Won’t you please check us out at: https://www.amazon.ca/Forever-Poi-Tyler-Colins/dp/1079716483

One, Two . . . Boo-Hoo

Hey, it’s Rey . . . again.  Boo-hoo!  I forgot to post yesterday and today re Coco’s Nuts!  It’s avail for 99 cents too!  Double boo-hoo.

So, let me give you a quick rundown (so everyone will stop yammering at me):

Coco’s Nuts, the third mystery in the Triple Threat Investigation Agency series, finds us three rookie private eyes—that’s JJ, Linda, and me—caught up in our second professional assignment: proving socialite-turned-trucker Buddy Feuer didn’t shoot her boss, infamous entrepreneur Jimmy Picolo.

No matter what the police believe and the evidence suggests, we’re convinced that Buddy has been set up.  In our search for answers, we deal with a slew of suspects.

A lot of people hated Picolo enough to kill him but locating the one who pulled the trigger proves challenging.  Our detecting travels lead us along a few detours, like the world of gambling and “limb-breakers”.  Picolo’s daughter, Annia, owes thousands of dollars to “collectors” in Vegas and Oahu.  Could this have served as a motive to kill her father, so that she can collect a sizeable inheritance?  What about Picolo’s son?  Could Jimmy Junior be that eager to take over his father’s multiple businesses?  What about nutty Coco Peterson, a Picolo employee who has been MIA since the murders occurred?  He certainly appears to be a central piece in this odd puzzler.

Maybe you’d like to learn how we fare . . . or leave a review (we’d love it if you did) . . . https://www.amazon.ca/Cocos-Nuts-Tyler-Colins/dp/1078374368

Forever Poi, Not bein’ Coy

Hey, it’s Rey again.  Lindy-Loo’s “too busy” to post today.  Whatever.

He-he.  I’m never one to be/play coy, as you who know l’il ol’ me are totally aware of  . . . so-o, here you go . . .

You can get Forever Poi for a bargain at 99 cents!

Forever Poi is our third official (and paying) case, which has MIA Linda, Cousin JJ, and me determining who set fire to two upscale Chinatown art galleries and left two bodies in the ruins.  One was the co-owner.  It’s possible his partner may have wanted to collect the insurance money.  The other: a former queenpin whose past may have caught up with her.

Here’s a tidbit, as told by Cousin Jilly (JJ):

Ald adjusted the volume. “Two galleries are pretty close to being cinders, specifically the ones belonging to Carlos Kawena and James-Henri Ossature. Weren’t you supposed to be here for Carlos’ 6-tu-8 do?”

“I had to be somewhere. But I had drinks with Carlos last night to celebrate his forty-sixth and he provided a sneak-peak of the exhibit.” Xavier’s voice had taken on a serious, business-like tone. “What happened? Is he okay?”

“We found a body that wasn’t recognizable. All I know at this stage is that it’s pretty certain the fire was no accident. The only thing I can confirm is the little intimate soirée ended at eight on the nose. He’d planned to leave the gallery no later than 8:20 to be at a snooty function at nine. The fire was called in at 8:35 p.m.”

“Did he show up at that affair?”

“He didn’t tell me much about it. And I haven’t been able to reach James-Henri.”

Rey, Linda and I gazed solemnly at one another.

“Where can I meet you?”

“I’m at the Triple Threat Investigation Agency.” Ald snickered and rolled intense Maya-blue eyes. He’d always found the name of the agency comical, but hadn’t mentioned that until a few weeks ago. In truth, I’d never liked it much either, but my theatrical over-the-top cousin, also a part-time actress (commercials primarily these days), had insisted upon it. Arguing with her was rarely worth the effort, so the Triple Threat Investigation Agency it was.

“Be there as quick as I can.”

“We need serious caffeine, A, not the watered-down crap I see sitting in a pot across this office.”

“You got it.”

Ald replaced the mobile and exhaled at length. Facial lines were beginning to deepen and a thick, notched scar along the right temple was pulsing, sure signs he was growing both fatigued and irritated.

“A?” Linda asked, getting up and stretching.

“A for adjuster,” he replied with a pert smile. “That’s what he does for a living.”

“Does that mean we call you D for dick?” Rey asked breezily.

If you’d like to check out our challenging if not crazy (body-heavy) case, you can do so here: https://www.amazon.ca/Forever-Poi-Tyler-Colins/dp/1079716483

Forever Poi – What a Joy . . .

. . . to get an ebook for a measly 99 cents!

Hey, it’s Rey today (Linda was reviewing a few wines last night and hasn’t climbed out of bed yet).

Forever Poi, our third official—professional—case, has Hungover Linda, Cousin Jilly (also known as JJ), and me trying to find out who set fire to two up-and-coming art galleries . . . and left two bodies in the ashes.  One was co-owner and it appears his partner in business and love might have wanted to collect on the insurance (evidently, it’s happened before).  The other was a former queenpin who seems to have turned over a new leaf; maybe someone didn’t want her to?

As we determine who’s done what, a few bodies show up (they have a habit of doing that around us), and our case proves anything but straightforward or simple.  That’s okay; we’re up for the challenge.  But it’s one heckuva roller-coaster ride!

Maybe you’d like to check us out?  You can find Forever Poi here: https://www.amazon.ca/Forever-Poi-Tyler-Colins/dp/1079716483

. . . And, if you’re so inclined, maybe you could please leave a review?  We’d love it if you would.  Aloha, dear friends.

Forever Poi, Oh Boy!

The 99-cent promo enters its second day.

It’s Linda again, promoting our fourth mystery, Forever Poi.  For a mere 99 cents, you can get a copy today through March 13th.

The three P.I.s of the Triple Threat Investigation Agency series—that’s myself, Rey and JJ—are out to solve a double-arson and murder.  Who set ablaze two Chinatown art galleries and left two charred bodies in the rubble?

Here’s a little taste, er, excerpt . . .

“That’s one mother of a fire,” Cousin Reynalda exclaimed, wrinkling a Hollywood [perfect] nose as an acrid burned-toast smell pervaded thick, humid-heavy air. “Weird, but I’ve got a real hankering for s’mores.”

“I’m thinking roasted tofu myself,” Linda stated, breathing down my neck. “You, JJ?”

“. . . Corn on the cob, maybe.”

Rey snorted. “Get real.”

On the opposite side, eight and nine doors down respectively, tendrils of amber and silvery flames interwoven with raven-black smoke twirled heavenward from two art galleries. The two kitschy salons seemed out-of-place in Honolulu’s Chinatown, like wagyu beef amid flank steak. In homage to art-washing, the owners had chosen the unconventional location to bring culture to a district that saw life’s cast-offs struggling with liquid addictions and monetary woes.

A wailing ambulance braked to a stop behind a recently arrived mate. When paramedics sprang from the vehicle, urgent commands and questions fused with frantic action.

Four fire trucks and a half dozen cruisers were positioned near a narrow lane that ran between the galleries. Their bright emergency lights, flashing like dance-club strobes, bounced off concrete and people. Like flies and ants at a church picnic, reporters and journalists scrambled from remote trucks and live-eye vans situated sporadically along the street. Cameras and mikes were zealously poised to capture the smoldering excitement for viewers and readers.

As ominous yellow tapes flapped like long-forgotten prom ribbons in the breezy night, law and fire enforcement personnel briskly attempted to piece together what had transpired. Patiently but firmly, police officers held the curious at bay while firefighters darted like baseball players racing for home plate.

(The Boss would love it if you offered a review.)

Won’t you please check us out at: https://www.amazon.ca/Forever-Poi-Tyler-Colins/dp/1079716483