Day Five, Still Alive!

Hi there!  This is Xav.  My mom posted yesterday and when I heard what she’d done, I begged my private-eye friends to let me do it, too!

As she told you, I had a pretty serious drug problem . . . and I wasn’t even eighteen.  What I was, actually, was a mess.  You’ve probably read and heard enough about the ugly world of drug addiction, so I don’t need to repeat what you already know.  But let me tell you, it’s not a place you ever want to find yourself!

On a sweeter note, it’s the fifth and final day of the Can You Hula Like Hilo Hattie? promotion.  You can purchase it for .99 cents.  You can’t even buy a burger for that.  I say, go for it!

Besides my story, there are a few murders, dangerous drug dealers, and ornery gang members who don’t like being questioned by JJ, Rey and Linda.  Guess I wouldn’t either, if I didn’t want to end up in jail.  But they stick with it—even nearly get themselves killed—and finally figure it all out.  How cool is that?

Check us out at . . .

https://www.amazon.ca/Hula-Hattie-Triple-Threat-Mystery-ebook/dp/B01KEEBNOS

Day Four, Can You Take One More?

Promo post, that is.  It’s Linda and I’m here to introduce a lovely lady Honey Konani, the mother of teenaged Xavier (or Xav, as he prefers).  She actually called JJ to ask if she might have the honors.  JJ—Rey and I—were happy to oblige.  Over to you, Honey . . .

Hi.  I’ve never done this before, so please bear with me.  I met the three private eyes from the Triple Threat Investigation Agency when JJ brought home Xavier after a bad bout with drugs.  

Before I get into that, please note that it is Day 4 of the Can You Hula Like Hilo Hattie? promotion.  You can purchase it for .99 cents—today through November 17.

For those of you who follow this blog, you know that this first official case has the three women attempting to discover the secret of the young and pretty wife of a rich, elderly gentleman.  Sadly, she’s found murdered in the Pacific.  In the quest to find the killer, they happen upon drug dealers, gang members . . . and Xavier, in a dark dank alley.

Regrettably, I’d grown accustomed to his “flights of freedom”, as I called them. Oh, I fretted as any mother would, but I no longer experienced hysterics or despair as I had the first couple of times he’d ventured off (“staying with a friend”, “sailing with a school chum”, “visiting a cousin on Big Island”). My belief in God kept me sane and calm, and hopeful that my son would one day see the light and stop doing drugs. Yes, I’d known for a while, but hadn’t voiced it, not to him, not to my daughter, not even to myself. To do so would have meant acknowledging a bleak truth.

Thanks to these three women, Xavier eventually turned his life around; he’s still clean and seeing life with fresh eyes.  I’ll be eternally grateful to them.

You can check out Hula here . . .

https://www.amazon.ca/Hula-Hattie-Triple-Threat-Mystery-ebook/dp/B01KEEBNOS

Day Three . . . with Three . . .

. . . Lovely ladies who are professional P.I.s on Oahu.  Hey, it’s Rey—welcome to Day 3 of the Can You Hula Like Hilo Hattie? promotion.  For .99 cents—today through November 17—you can read how the Triple Threat Investigation Agency trio (that’s us, those lovely ladies, in case there was any doubt) solved our first case.

It all started off pretty simple: find out what William Pierponce Howell’s young pretty wife, Carmie, was up to.  He was thinking “affair”; we were thinking the same.  But then we found her floating along the shores of a quiet beach, and it wasn’t because she couldn’t swim.

It turned out there was something suspect in her past . . . as there was in hubby’s and a few other folks’ history.  This led us into the weird world of gangs, drug dealers, and criminal types.

If you’d like to learn how we solved this challenging—dangerous—case (and nearly ended up like poor Carmie), please check us out.

https://www.amazon.ca/Hula-Hattie-Triple-Threat-Mystery-ebook/dp/B01KEEBNOS

Aloha all.

Day Two, Yeah, Me Too

So you’ve got Cash here.  Yeah, JJ talked me into posting about the promo today (Linda wheedled and Rey, as is her way, threatened to rearrange body parts).  Man.

Anyway, here goes . . .

. . . It’s Day 2 of the Can You Hula Like Hilo Hattie? promotion.  For .99 cents—today through November 17—you can read how JJ and her colleagues from the Triple Threat Investigation Agency solved their first case . . . and how JJ and I first met (in a dive where drug dealers and felon types liked to call home).

It all started when the threesome had to discover the “secret” of a rich old coot’s dishy wife.  Unfortunately, they found her swimming in the Pacific.  As they determined to find out who the killer was—and more bodies dropped—they encountered the aforementioned drug dealers, druggies, and gang members.  And, no surprise, none of the nefarious offenders liked being pursued, much less questioned.

Here’s a little taste (no one can tell it better than my hon, JJ) . . .

“Howzit? Mind if I sit?”

Cash stood a good 6’2” and was more muscular up close, like one of those extreme wrestlers.

I motioned one of the ladder-back chairs across from me. It creaked when he sat.

“I’ve never seen you in here before. I’d remember.”

“That’s not an overly original pick-up line . . . Cash.”

“I wasn’t aiming for a pick-up,” he replied. “And Cash is the name. My mom loved Johnny Cash. I got the name Cash because my brother, born two years before me, got Johnny.” Jade green eyes seemed to see beyond that which they viewed. “You don’t look like you belong here.”

“Why? Not enough make-up? Or maybe I’m not rowdy or brassy enough?” I asked with a cynical smile, feeling oddly catty. Malevolence was something I experienced only when sleep-deprived.

“Not young enough.”

My flat response was “mahalo”. Thank you.

“It’s more of a guy place and the women that do come are generally not in their late twenties and above.”

I took a sip of the flat beer in the mug. Ugh. “I’ll make sure to apply for Social Security on Monday.”

His laughter had a rich timber, like a temple bell.

“You don’t exactly look like you belong here, either.”

“Why’s that?”

I met his probing gaze. “Besides the fact that the preferred color for members of the male persuasion in here is black, you look more like someone who’d be sipping martinis while sitting in a jazz lounge or an oceanside bar. You don’t have that tough-ass attitude most of the males here have.”

“I’m very tough. Trust me.” His smile was dark and for the briefest second, I sensed a no-nonsense-or-crap-accepted side.

To be honest, I was quite surprised the three of them didn’t end up with a knife in the neck or a bullet in the brain (I’ve been around) but very happy with the outcome: the successful—if not bizarre—culmination of the case.

Given I’m very fond of JJ, I’d appreciate you checking out how they performed as first-time private eyes.  Guaranteed: you’ll find the tumultuous trip quite entertaining.

https://www.amazon.ca/Hula-Hattie-Triple-Threat-Mystery-ebook/dp/B01KEEBNOS

 

Day One, What Fun (Again!)

Welcome to Day 1 of the Can You Hula Like Hilo Hattie? promotion.  For a mere .99 cents—today through November 17—you can read how the three of us from the Triple Threat Investigation Agency did during our first official private-eye case! 

. . . All we have to do is uncover the “secret” of an elderly millionaire’s pretty young wife—an affair.  There’s a twist, though: trophy wife is found murdered on the rocky shores of an off-the-beaten-track  Oahu beach.  And there’s a secret all right, one of many in fact—and they don’t all belong to the deceased woman.  Who of the curious cast of characters is the murderer?  As JJ, Rey and I try to fit puzzle pieces together, we stumble across more bodies … and a few unscrupulous sorts who don’t like us poking our noses in their business. 

While this new set of quirky personalities proves quite taxing, we have enough faith in our developing talents to persevere and unscramble clues.  It’s the perfect opportunity for us to prove we made a wise choice in becoming bona-fide detectives. 

If you’d like to come along on the zany but fun roller-coaster ride, please check u out at . . .

https://www.amazon.ca/Hula-Hattie-Triple-Threat-Mystery-ebook/dp/B01KEEBNOS

(The Boss requests—humbly and happily—if you had a moment or three, perhaps you might be willing to do a review?)

Day Five, One More High-Five

Hey, it’s Rey again!

Welcome to Day 5 of The Connecticut Corpse Caper promotion. It’s FREE one last day—today.

Caper set the stage (in more ways than one) for JJ, Linda and me becoming official private eyes.  We solved a murder (a few, actually) during a crazy week at our Aunt Mat’s old, super creepy mansion!

We actually had to stay there a week to collect on an inheritance.  Almost from the moment we got there, bodies started dropping.  Strange sounds flowed through walls and dark hallways, and we traveled along a few long damp passageways.  It was a puzzler, trying to figure out who the killer was.  And, man, did we uncover a few bizarre “secrets” along the way.

Maybe you’d like to check out our escapades (as JJ’s former boy-toy called them)?  We’d love it if you did.

https://www.amazon.ca/Connecticut-Corpse-Triple-Threat-Mystery-ebook/dp/B01KEDWHMG/ref=sr_1_2?dchild=1&qid=1604758403&refinements=p_27%3ATyler+Colins&s=digital-text&sr=1-2

Day Four, Just Two More

Hey, it’s Rey!

Welcome to Day 4 of The Connecticut Corpse Caper promotion; only two more. It’s FREE from Nov 8 – 12 (sounds like a steal to me).

Caper gave JJ, Linda and me a taste of what being a detective was all about.  Okay, so we were more like Nancy Drews—pretty amateur sleuths—but we eventually solved the caper, er, case.

My cousin JJ and I had to stay at Aunt Mat’s huge “haunted” house for a week to collect on an inheritance (Linda was along for the ride).  From the get-go, bodies started dropping.  Weird sounds flowed through walls and long, dark passageways became part of the norm.  It was quite the challenge, determining who the perp was.  Can’t share that with you, though, sorry.  You’ll have to read Caper to find out.  But I will share this: you’ll be surprised.  He-he.

If I’ve tweaked your interest, check out . . .

https://www.amazon.ca/Connecticut-Corpse-Triple-Threat-Mystery-ebook/dp/B01KEDWHMG/ref=sr_1_2?dchild=1&qid=1604758403&refinements=p_27%3ATyler+Colins&s=digital-text&sr=1-2

See you again on Day 5!

Day Three, Hoo-Wee

Howdy.  The ladies called from way ovah the Pacific to ask me to post today.  Miss Rey was supposed to, but she ended up showing an actor friend the town and got back around three in the a.m.  Seems she’s still sleeping it off (hear a few Mai Tais were involved).

So, folks, today is Day 3 of The Connecticut Corpse Caper promotion. It’s FREE from Nov 8 – 12.  Hoo-wee.  Can’t beat that.

Allow me to introduce myself.  I’m Sheriff Augustus Jacob Lewis and I first met the ladies when my deputy and I were called in to check on a body in Miss Matty Moone’s mansion.

Let me give y’all a rundown . . .

“What about the fact that Thomas Saturne died?” Miss Linda asked with a pretty frown.

Gwynne, my deputy, sighed. “It was an accidental death-”

“For sure?” she challenged, looking feisty.

“For now.” I drained my coffee and stood. “Matty Moone was a good lady and she made a tasty pear crumble pie-”

“Pear crumble pie?” Miss Rey and Miss Jill asked simultaneously. They seemed really surprised that their aunt baked.

“Your ahnt enjoyed baking in the fall. Never did it any othah time of the year, except for the week around Christmas, of course. She dropped off a couple of pies, like clockwork, every second Friday throughout the autumn months.” I smiled wistfully and gazed into the distance, as if a slice were within reach.  Gosh, those pies were damn tasty.

“Shouldn’t you check out the entire property?” Miss Linda demanded.

“I was going to say, before I was interrupted, she made tasty pear crumble pies but she made even greatah jokes.” I glanced from one lady to the next. “As her nieces, you’d know that bettah than anyone. She probably got this Jensen Moone fellow to play anothah prank.”

“But-”

Gwynne’s concentrated stare silenced Miss Linda.

She frowned and turned to the mammoth fireplace.

“If you won’t find him, we will,” Miss Rey stated haughtily, hopping to her feet.

“When you find him, I’m sure he’ll be roaring with laughtah,” I said with a grin, smoothing my shirt over a belly that had enjoyed many of Mathilda Moone’s pear pies and more. Those were the days. “We’ll see ourselves ount. Please thank the team in the kitchen for the hospitality.”

I really got to like these ladies.  Why don’t you read Caper and find out why these likable ladies decided to become private investigators?

Miss Rey’ll be here tomorrow . . . maybe.

https://www.amazon.ca/Connecticut-Corpse-Triple-Threat-Mystery-ebook/dp/B01KEDWHMG/ref=sr_1_2?dchild=1&qid=1604758403&refinements=p_27%3ATyler+Colins&s=digital-text&sr=1-2

 

Day 2 . . . For You

Hi there.  Welcome to Day 2 of The Connecticut Corpse Caper promotion—it’s FREE from Nov 8 – 12.

JJ liked yesterday’s post, so here I am again—Adwin, her ex-boyfriend.

Quick rundown: Caper had several of us staying at JJ’s eccentric aunt’s haunted mansion for a week—anyone who could last the week would luck in re the inheritance.  If anyone left before then, their share would go into the pot. 

I thought I’d share a moment (one of many, let me tell you) when things started getting, well, excitingly scary.  Take it away, JJ . . .

Later, after dinner and a few treks upstairs, we adjourned to the Drink & Death Room, as Linda called the drawing room. We were sipping mint tea and avoiding eye contact, ensconced in those little Zen zones we’d become quite familiar with in the last twenty-four hours, when ghost-like booing started to flow softly around us like milkweed filaments propelled by a westerly wind.

“How Abbott and Costello,” Linda commented.

“That explains why Jensen didn’t show up for dinner,” Percival said with a roll of his eyes, jerking a thumb upward. “He’s hovering near a vent, doing a Casper impression.”

“It’s kinda lame,” Rey sniffed, pouring more tea into her cup.

“Why don’t we sneak up on him and give him a scare?” Linda suggested, standing. “I don’t want him thinking he can get away with this all night.”

“If the lot of us ‘sneak up on him’, we’d hardly catch him unawares,” Prunella pointed out dully.

Rey threw back her tea. “Let’s give it a try. If it doesn’t work, it doesn’t work. We’ll get back at him with our original plan.”

“Never mind the fact there have to be hidden rooms and walkways in an old place like this,” Linda added with a nod.

“Let’s split up,” I proposed. “Rey and Linda can take the west wing. Adwin, you and I will take the east. Prunella and Percival could-“

High-pitched staccato laughter echoed throughout the dwelling.

Linda snorted. “Geez, now we’ve got freaking Fred Flintstone’s Uncle Giggles running amok.”

Percival looked blank, but Adwin and I laughed.

“Okay guys, let’s do as my cousin suggested and take different parts of the house,” Rey said, stepping past.

I grabbed her forearm. “Let’s not make too much noise. We want to surprise him.”

“How’re we going to see anything? We can’t exactly go turning on lights if we’re aiming for the element of surprise,” Adwin pointed out.

“Let me get those flashlights we put back in the pantry earlier.” Percival strolled from the room; a man with a target.

I know the women would love it if you check out how they got interested in pursuing private-eye careers.  You can find Caper here:

https://www.amazon.ca/Connecticut-Corpse-Triple-Threat-Mystery-ebook/dp/B01KEDWHMG/ref=sr_1_2?dchild=1&qid=1604758403&refinements=p_27%3ATyler+Colins&s=digital-text&sr=1-2

Not sure who’s here the next day . . . it may be Rey. 

Day 1 . . . Not Done

Hi there.  Welcome to Day 1 of The Connecticut Corpse Caper promotion.

If you aren’t yet familiar with the private-eye trio from the Triple Threat Investigation Agency, you won’t know me.  I’m Adwin Byron Timmins, pastry chef and Jill Jocasta Fonne’s ex-beau—er, that’s JJ now, I guess (still not used to the name change).

Anyway, she asked if I’d do a quick post to let you know that The Connecticut Corpse Caper is F-R-E-E from Nov 8 – 12. 

Caper had several of us staying at JJ’s eccentric aunt’s haunted mansion for a week—anyone who could last the week would luck in re the inheritance.  If anyone left before then, their share would go into the pot. 

JJ, her mouthy cousin Rey, and Rey’s quiet best friend Linda got caught up in all the craziness—bodies dropping, weird sounds from behind thick walls, hidden passageways, and Fred the ghost—and started playing amateur sleuths.  They didn’t do too badly either and eventually tied up a lot of loose ends!  I got to adopt a cool cat and the women decided they just might want to go professional.

Maybe you’d like to check out the sleuthing adventures of my ex-girlfriend and her colleagues?  What have you got to lose . . . except a couple of action-packed, sometimes comic, hours?

https://www.amazon.ca/Connecticut-Corpse-Triple-Threat-Mystery-ebook/dp/B01KEDWHMG/ref=sr_1_2?dchild=1&qid=1604758403&refinements=p_27%3ATyler+Colins&s=digital-text&sr=1-2

Did I do okay, Jill—er, JJ?