Alone, but Not Lonely

As the year draws to a close, it’s difficult not to reflect on what’s transpired … and what might lie ahead.

My mother passed in March. After years of taking care of her, and forfeiting many things, including friends, this holiday season will be spent alone.

Aloneness: being apart from others; only; solitary.

Loneliness: not with others of the same kind; a feeling of dejection at being aware of being alone.

I embrace the aloneness. I like my company. It has its moments—it can be impatient (ask any technical devices), annoyed (ask any technical devices), and cranky (ask the melatonin that didn’t kick in the night before). I love that I can now write whenever I choose (day job aside), that I get more than three hours sleep a night (because one caregiving ear always had to be open, listening for falls or issues).

I’m grateful for the solitude. It’s allowed me to put things in perspective, to plan for the subsequent year. There’ll be a couple of risks, but it’s time to take them, regardless of the outcome. You don’t succeed if you don’t try. And if you fail, lesson(s) learned.

Too many years have been dedicated to making others happy. Now, it’s my time. And if that’s selfish, so be it.

Yes, I’m alone … and so very thankful.

Author: tylerus

I'm primarily a writer of fiction and blog posts, and a sometimes editor and proofreader of books, manuals, and film/television scripts. Fact-checking and researching, organizing and coordinating are skills and joys (I enjoy playing detective and developing structure). My fiction audience: lovers of female-sleuth mysteries. My genres of preference: mysteries (needless to say), women’s fiction, informative and helpful “affirmative” non-fiction. So-o, here I am, staring up a new blog for aspiring and established e-Book writers. The plan: to share the (long) journey of getting to this stage, and share "learnings" and "teachings". There's a lot I hope to accomplish with this blog, but it may be a while before that happens as there's a lot on the ol' plate - taking care of Mom, working full-time, and attempting to get another book in the Triple Threat Investigation Agency series written (never mind blog postings and other writing projects). It's very challenging and it's all good. As I like to say: teeny focused baby steps are just as effective as long forceful strides. It may take a little longer, but we will get there. View all posts by tylerus