Day 1, A Modicum

I hope this post finds you doing amazingly well.  It’s Linda here, for the Forever Poi promotion.

Our last case, Forever Poi, is available for a modicum—a mere $0.99 today through June 12!  So, if you’ve been saving those pennies for a rainy day, maybe this is that day?


In the event you’re not familiar with it, it’s our third official (paying) assignment and the fourth mystery in the Triple Threat Investigation Agency series.  We’re hired by insurance adjuster Xavier Shillingford to assist in the investigation of a double arson which burned down two art galleries, and also claimed two lives: Carlos Kawena, a gallery partner/owner and Mary-Louise Crabtree, a former queenpin.

It soon becomes evident that the fires were not set by a professional torch but by someone wanting to kill one or both of the deceased.  JJ and Rey and I encounter a plethora of possible culprits.  The day before the fire, Carlos had an “ugly break-up” with his partner, James-Henri Ossature.  Severe financial issues existed, too.  Could James-Henri have done the dastardly deed to collect insurance and be rid of his lover?  What about Mary-Louise Crabtree?  Given her sketchy past, might a former foe have murdered her?  If so, was Carlos merely collateral damage?

A challenging case to say the least.  I hope you find it as exciting as we did!

NOTE: $0.99 promotions are active only in the US and UK stores.

Back tomorrow!

When You’re Lanai Lounging . . . Auld Lang Syne (Old Long Since)

Rey, Linda and I have more time on our hands these days, as many do.  We’ve gotten quite used to lanai lounging; I wonder if we’ll find the energy/motivation when the time arrives to return to “normal” . . . whatever that may entail.

We were chatting the other day about the weeds that need pulling, shrubs that require trimming, and the pool that hasn’t yet been fixed (poor thing is missing tiles like a youngster missing milk teeth).  After stifling a few yawns, we drifted to discussions revolving around childhood days—those funny/silly moments that we’d carry to our golden years and beyond.  Rey thought it a great idea to share, so that’s what we’re doing on this fine June day.

Linda will start us off.

I don’t recall many good times, I must confess.  My mother died young, during squally weather, when she was rundown by a vegetable truck (cabbages and beets, to be precise).  My brother Lido and my sister Loretta and I didn’t really much like each other and have only recently made efforts to be “family”.  But that said, I do recall an occasion when I must have been seven or eight and my siblings and I were seated at the Thanksgiving dinner table.  I don’t know what started it—most likely Cousin Ivers sucking back too much bourbon (again)—but one of those asinine TV food fights began.  Every last person seated at that immense table ended up covered in some sort of foodstuff, myself included (I sported gravy and green beans).  It became even more comical when inebriated Cousin Ivers dragged drunk Uncle Max (not a true uncle) onto the lumpy, bedraggled lawn.  A colossal brawl erupted, resulting in a free-for-all, the likes of which the neighbors—and police—had never seen.  You know, I’ve never looked at a turkey dinner quite the same since.

And Rey?

I have to go with the time Margaret-Ann, this pig-tailed cutie in fourth grade, set her baby blues on Merck, this guy I really liked.  She’d smile and flip her thick, satin bow-tied tails, and tee-hee-hee at all the right times.  Small wonder he started liking her too—and turned away from me.  Gag.  I felt a need to let him see what a fake she was.  So-o, I made sure something “accidentally” fell off her desk.  When she leaned over to pick it up, I stuck a huge multi-dollar wad of gum on her seat.  Oddly, she didn’t notice right away.  When she did, which was outside the classroom, she cursed a mean streak right in front of Merck.  Who’d have thought a fourth grader could utter words like that (never mind that she looked like she could smack the guilty party straight across the schoolyard)?  Given he came from a rather religious family, he was surprised, and not in a good way.  That crushed that mushrooming relationship.  He-he.  Yeah . . . that was a very fun day.

Lastly, me.

I’d have to say a fun/funny childhood memory involved Rey and me at Uncle Flex’s Ogunquit cottage.  I may have mentioned him re another incident—the one where he lost one eyebrow (a fox-moth caterpillar-furry one).  This transpired after that.  (I’m surprised he’d not become more wary of the two of us.)  We were in our early teens and not getting along, as was the norm.  This time we’d decided to be constructive and grill dinner on the handsome Weber grills that Uncle Flex and Cousin Balo used so well.  The hot dogs and hamburgers were scorched beyond recognition, one of the grills was knocked over when Rey and I got into “fisticuffs” about who burned what.  Anything within reach burst into flames almost immediately (the patio and railings were old and dry).  Henri, a husky Havanese, never barked, but hearing the commotion, yapped up a storm and raced from the cottage, followed by frantic Uncle Flex, into the nearby woods.  Long crazy story short, the cottage did survive—for the most part.  Henri was never heard from again, though, and Uncle Flex moved across the Big Pond not long after that.  And Rey and I were forbidden for the next three decades to be together in the same room, cottage, state.

WPA1COVER FPoiHere’s to old/long/since memories.  Funny how they can prompt grins and rolling-on-the-floor laughter . . . [much] later.

Take care everyone—continue to stay safe and be well.

What’s Up, Buttercup?

We are—so up and so ready to face another day.  Hey, it’s Rey!

The three of us from the Triple Threat Investigation Agency are still lanai lounging and solving the odd case via the Internet and phone.  A new way to private-eyeing.  Whatever works, right?

HA-HA-HA-HA should be available by end of July (our boss is doing her best to get our latest case recorded as quickly as possible).  It’s an exciting—if not testing and trying—one that involves a stalker and serial killer (we do seem to attract those like bears to honey—must be some invisible invitation tattooed on our foreheads).

As I’m reclining on the chaise longue, watching the kids play in the grass, and Linda and JJ are grilling veggies and fish, I thought I’d share another excerpt with you.

“Any witnesses or sightings re the murders or murderer?” Rey asked, studying a large thick slab of cheese-heavy garlic bread as if it might grow teeth and bite back.

Which prompted a smirk from Sallo.  Snorting, he said, “It ain’t gonna chomp back.”

Appearing doubtful, she took a tiny bite, chewed, and nodded.  “Damn.  It’s good.  Real garlicky.”

“Told you so,” he simpered, digging into the chili.

Linda and I followed suit.  Sallo would share information when he was ready and not a blink before. 

Half-a-bowl later, he motioned Clem for another beer and sat back.  “Jo Belcastro saw a black van around 7:30 the night you found the bodies.  He was jogging along Date, near Laau, heading nowhere in particular.  He noticed it because it was standing alone, real close to that house that burned down last month.  As a landscaper, he tends to notice things that don’t fit well, but he didn’t think about it again until he settled in with the news last night after his jog.”

“He called the police simply because he remembered a van parked near beside a burned-out house?” Linda asked, skeptical. 

“He heard of the murders—who hasn’t?—but he wasn’t really following the news.  Too many landscaping projects.”  With a smirk, he started on the garlic bread and we returned to our chili. 

A couple minutes later, he was ready to pick up where he’d left off.  “When he caught up on them last night—and saw the request for people to come forward if they’d seen anything out of the ordinary—he remembered the van and decided to call.”

“What could he tell you about it?” I asked. 

He frowned.  “Not a helluva lot.  Black.  No lettering.  Basic windows.  Didn’t catch the license plate.  Only noticed it because it was the only vehicle there—in the shadows, slightly off the street, near that house some ass had set a torch to.”

“That sucks,” Rey said.

“Yeah.  But there’s something positive.  Belcastro tripped and another guy and his dog, who weren’t that far away, went to his rescue.  Belcastro was okay.  Just a skinned knee and bruised ego.  They chatted briefly.  Belcastro patted the dog and asked his name and all that, and then they parted ways.”

The three of us leaned in close—grateful we’d all sucked back garlic—anticipating something more useful was about to be imparted.  “When Belcastro called to tell us about it, he mentioned Barty the Springer Spaniel.  Seems Barty’s a favorite in the area, so it wasn’t hard to track down his owner.”

Linda gave a thumb’s up.

“Barty’s owner, Murphy Geist, saw the same van that night.  Considering he wasn’t far behind Belcasto, how could he not?  Anyway, just after the two parted ways, owner and pooch continued their nightly stroll.  After circling around, maybe ten or twelve minutes later, Barty began acting a touch weird—straining at the leash, making whiney doggy sounds.”

“And Geist didn’t think to see what might be bothering Barty?” I asked, astonished.

“He’d been mugged a couple of times and figured it might be some thug lurking in the shrubbery with bad deeds on his mind.  He decided it was a good time to head home and head home fast.”

“And?” I prompted.

His expression bordered on smug.  “He sighted a guy in the van.”

I’m gonna leave ya hangin’ there.  He, he.

We are doing our utmost to stay well and safe.  I hope you are, too.  Take care everyone!

Finished at Five

Day #5 marks the last day of the discount promotion for Can You Hula Like Hilo Hattie.  The price is an affordable 99 cents.

Hula has Rey, JJ, and me [Linda] pursuing our first official Triple Threat Investigation Agency case, which is to discover what the young [pretty, sexy] wife of an old coot—er, elderly millionaire—is up to.  Before we can, however, she’s found floating in the sapphire waters of a deserted Oahu beach.  Now, we have to figure out who the killer is . . .  a challenge, to say the least, because a few more bodies fall to the wayside.

Here’s another excerpt:

“It’s still hard to believe she’s dead,” Linda murmured.

“No more shopping at Prada or Coach,” Rey said softly.

“No more sunset cruises or galas,” I affirmed quietly.

“There’ll be nothing but blackness,” Linda said. “We all have beliefs about post-death. I wonder what Carmie’s are—were.”

“Hopefully, something pleasant and picturesque.” With a sad smile, I started the ignition.

Rey hooked Linda’s headrest and leaned forward. “Do you think Mr. Gruesome did this?”

I pulled onto the Kalanianaole Highway, also known as Route 72. “Mr. Gruesome doesn’t have the stamina or strength to pursue her to the cove, much less kill her. He doesn’t have the muscle, either. Carmie would have slapped him silly.”

“Agreed.” Linda’s brow furrowed. “There’s always a chance she did in fact fall down a precipice. We’re talking terrain full of perilous cliffs, not walls of sea anemones. Tumbling down rocks would result in numerous abrasions and broken bones, and a pretzel landing.”

“I don’t buy the falling for one second. Those marks on her neck looked like they came from forceful fingers,” Rey declared.

“I wonder if William’s been informed.” Linda winced as brilliant white lightning streaked overhead.

I drove into a parking spot by Bubbies Homemade Ice Cream & Desserts. “Let’s find out.” Grabbing my bag from under the seat, I pulled out my phone.

Aloha Sunday everyone – take care!

Four You

It’s Day #4 of the discount promotion for Can You Hula Like Hilo Hattie.  The price?  A mere 99 cents.

Hula has Rey, JJ, and me accepting our first official Triple Threat Investigation Agency case: to learn what the young wife of an elderly millionaire is up to.  Before we can do so, however, she’s found floating along the shores of a deserted Oahu beach.  There is an interesting (if not sordid) collection of characters (also known as suspects).

Here’s a little taste . . .

Rey and I twirled like plastic pinwheels propelled by a brisk gust. Twenty feet away stood Marvyn Flagg, a .40 Smith & Wesson in a shaky hand the pale color of a fish belly. The photo IDs made him look ten years older and stout, but in reality he was barely twenty with a slim ferret face. Cheap baggy jeans, an oversize plaid shirt, and bargain-store black basketball shoes enveloped the small frame like a shorn parachute a woodland sapling.

“Careful,” Rey warned, crossing lean arms. “You may accidentally shoot someone—like yourself.”

“What’re you doing here?” The meek voice held the force of a sparrow’s chirrup. The low-capacity weapon rose higher, but didn’t seem any steadier.

“We’re checking out how people from different walks of life live,” I responded, appearing as blasé as I sounded. I settled on a sofa arm. “What brings you here?”

“This is my place. That means I can shoot trespassers.” Like his hand and gaze, the tone was far from composed. He motioned the floor. “Are you looking for something in particular?”

Rey flourished an arm like a hostess beckoning guests. “Simply looking.”

He held out his other hand. “Maybe you better pass any weapons you have.”

“Come get them, honey-pie,” she challenged with a seductive voice and air, an index finger beckoning him forward. All that was missing was a tight sequined nightgown and she’d have had Ginger Grant from Gilligan’s Island down pat.

Marvyn, or whatever his real name was, eyed us apprehensively. Extending both palms, I offered a casual smile. “It’s your move.”

“I could shoot you both,” he advised, not sounding any more convincing than he appeared.

I hope you find Hula as exciting as we did.

Stay well everyone!

Tripling the Light Fantastic

Day #3 of the discount promotion for Can You Hula Like Hilo Hattie has the three of us P.I.s tripping the light fantastic (something we, alas, don’t indulge in often).

Hula features Rey, JJ, and me embarking on our first official Triple Threat Investigation Agency case.

The assignment is to discover the “secret” of an elderly millionaire’s young wife, which seems fairly clear-cut.  Follow Carmie, the young wife, and ascertain what this pretty woman is up to.  Maybe she’s meeting a lover.  Maybe she has something underhanded in mind (hubby is super rich, after all).  Unfortunately, we find her floating close to the shores of a deserted Oahu beach.  An assortment of curious suspects has our work cut out for us.  As we track down clues, we unearth a few secrets, not all belonging to the unfortunate, deceased Carmie.

Drug pushers, informants, and gang members . . . and a few more corpses . . .  are just some of the people we contend with in the search for Carmie’s killer.  Becoming private investigators is one thing, being successful ones another.  Maybe you’d like to find out just how well we fare . . . ?

Stay safe and be well.

NOTE: $0.99 promotions are active only in the US and UK stores. FREE promotions are active in all Amazon marketplaces.

Two for Five

It’s Linda on Day #2 of the discount promotion for Can You Hula Like Hilo Hattie (Rey’s posting on Day #5 about The Connecticut Corpse Caper).

Hula features the three of us—Rey, JJ, and myself—taking on our first official Triple Threat Investigation Agency case.

 Our assignment: discover the “secret” of an elderly millionaire’s young wife.  It seems fairly straightforward.  All we need to do is keep an eye on Carmie, the young wife, until we learn what she’s up to.  Unfortunately, a few days later, her body is found floating in the beautiful sapphire waters of a deserted Oahu beach.  The three of us strive to find the killer from a score of suspects and discover a few secrets—all not belonging to poor, dead Carmie.  Speaking of dead, a few more bodies fall as we attempt to bring closure to the case.

As if deceit and murder aren’t enough, we contend with drug pushers, informants, and gang members.  Most of them are not nice people and they don’t like having three newbie private eyes sticking their cute little noses into their ugly substantial business.

Continue to stay safe and well.

High-Fiving the Fifth

. . . and final day of The Connecticut Corpse Caper promotion.

Today, you have Rey again!

Caper, featuring my cousin JJ, my BFF Linda, and yours truly, was our first unofficial case (before we set up The Triple Threat Investigation Agency).  It launched our exciting, professional P.I. careers.

Friends and family members gather at Aunt Mat’s haunted mansion to collect a share of her not-too-shabby inheritance.  We have to remain a week to collect our share, but if anyone leaves early, his/her share is added to the pot.  We’re only there a few hours when one member of the group dies of unnatural causes.  Bodies soon start piling up.  While these murders are taking place, some pretty strange goings-on take place, like ghostly visits and ghoulish pranks.  The three of us put our heads together, search for clues, and succeed in solving the challenging/baffling case.

Promotion price?  F-R-E-E  (love it)

Promotion dates:  May 10 – May 14 2020

Stay well and be safe!

NOTE: $0.99 promotions are active only in the US and UK stores. FREE promotions are active in all Amazon marketplaces.

Double Duty

It’s Linda on post patrol today as well as Rey (maybe you saw her earlier post re The Connecticut Corpse Caper), so we’re pulling double duty.  Today marks the first day for the free/discount promotion re Can You Hula Like Hilo Hattie featuring the three of us—Rey, JJ, and myself—pursuing our first official Triple Threat Investigation Agency case.

 Our first professional, paying assignment is to discover the secret of an elderly millionaire’s young wife.  Perhaps she’s having an affair?  Perhaps it’s something more diabolical.

It seems clear-cut: follow said young wife until we find what she’s up to.  What we soon find, though, is her body floating in the beautiful sapphire waters of a deserted beach.  The three of us endeavor to uncover the killer amid a cast of curious characters and do discover a sordid/illicit secret or three—not necessarily belonging to the deceased wife.  And while uncovering those secrets, we happen upon a few bodies.

On the road to piecing together the puzzle, we take a few detours—to the dodgy domains of drug pushers, informants, and gangs.  These folks are serious game plays . . . and play for serious keeps.

Amazon links include:

Aloha Wednesday.  Be well.

NOTE: $0.99 promotions are active only in the US and UK stores. FREE promotions are active in all Amazon marketplaces.

Going Forth with the Fourth

. . . day of promotion.

Hey, it’s Rey.  It’s the fourth day for the free/discount promotion re The Connecticut Corpse Caper featuring my cousin JJ, my BFF Linda, and yours truly.

Caper got us sporting sleuthing caps (or as Adwin, JJ’s now ex-beau said, “Snoop Sister” bonnets).  Look who’s laughing now, though?  We solved the case!  Not bad for a trio of snoopers, huh?

To give you a quick overview: a few friends and family members gathered at Aunt Mat’s haunted mansion to collect a share of her inheritance.  We had to remain a week to collect our share, but if anyone left early, his or her share would have been added to ours.  We’d barely just arrived when one member of the group died—and not naturally, the poor flabby slob.  More bodies soon started dropping.  And, man, were there some weird goings-on (like ghostly, ghoulish ones).  The three of us put our heads together, collected clues, and succeeded in finally solving the bizarre case.  Can you spell f-u-n?

Promotion price?  F-R-E-E  (if only everything were)

Promotion dates:  May 10 – May 14 2020

Be good and stay well—back tomorrow.

NOTE: $0.99 promotions are active only in the US and UK stores. FREE promotions are active in all Amazon marketplaces.