HA-HA-HA-HAing

The Boss is enduring another meltdown, so you have Linda today.  I’m going to keep it quick and light, and let you know that our fourth case (fifth book)—HA-HA-HA-HA—is almost completed. 

We’re so happy, we’re ha-ha-ha-haing.  How can we not be pleased?  It’s been a long, complicated case that fell into our lap courtesy of a nutbar serial killer.

Here’s an excerpt to [hopefully] whet your whistle (unlike the beer that Rey is sucking back at this moment) . . .

The two detectives had arrived fifteen minutes after we’d called Ald to tell him about the rose and message.  Both men had been wearing 50s-style polyester black-and-red bowling shirts.  Funny, who’d have guessed either HPD homicide detective was a bowler?  As Rey would say, ya truly do learn something new every day.

Pets on our heels, it was fifteen minutes after midnight when we finally locked up and trooped upstairs. 

Leaning into the far wall, Linda frowned and appeared pensive.  “GRP’s becoming close and personal.  I wonder whose blood he used.”  

 I parked my butt on the edge of Rey’s queen-size upholstered storage bed and wearily said, “I suspect we’ll learn soon enough.”

“Do you think they’ll find anything incriminating?”

“That dude won’t have left any evidence or DNA,” Rey responded, removing a folded oversized T-shirt from one of two marquetry-motif nightstands.  She started undressing.  “Guess we can open an official case file, starting with the photos we took earlier.”

“And the details Ald said he’d provide tomorrow,” Linda added.

Limited details,” I emphasized.  “He’s not going to share all.”

“There should be enough for us to begin some serious private-eyeing.”

“Think we should get a security system, like Hives suggested?” my cousin asked, tossing a crimson lace bra across the room.  It landed at the base of an “awesome mega-sale piece”, a variegated solid-marble and brushed-brass floor mirror.

“Given our line of work, yes.”  I flopped back and stared at a ceiling in dire need of paint.  Bonzo landed beside me, his face—whiskers twitching wildly—inches from mine.  “Let’s do it first thing.”

Linda glanced at her ice-pink Coach watch.  “I’m bed-bound.  Nighty-night ladies.”

“Who can sleep?” Rey asked drily, slipping the T-shirt advertising a local rib joint over her head.

“Count sheep.”

“More like corpses,” she said with a cynical smile.

Aloha Saturday everyone—enjoy your weekend!

The Fifth Herewith

Welcome to the fifth and final day of the free Can You Hula like Hilo Hattie promotion.

As novice P.I.s, we accept our first official assignment: uncover the secret an elderly millionaire’s pretty, young wife is harboring.  Is she having an affair, as hubby believes?

If JJ, Rey and I succeed, our newly founded business, The Triple Threat Investigation Agency, will prove a viable venture.

There’s a twist, though: the wife is found murdered along a beautiful, desearted Oahu beach.  And there’s a secret all right, one of many, and they don’t all belong to the poor deceased woman.  Who of the unconventional cast of characters is the murderer?  As we attempt to fit puzzle pieces together, we stumble across several more bodies.

What seems an easy task becomes anything but.  We’ve dealt with a sundry of murders and murderers in past, thanks to a wacky week in Connecticut, but this new set of quirky personalities proves challenging if not taxing.  Nevertheless, we have enough faith in our budding P.I. talents to persevere and unscramble clues.

Here’s an opportunity for us to prove we made a wise choice in becoming bona-fide detectives.  But can we do it before the murderer strikes again?

Feel free (he-he) to check out the free (he-he) promotion at:

https://www.amazon.ca/Hula-Hattie-Triple-Threat-Mystery-ebook/dp/B01KEEBNOS

Going Forth with the Fourth

It’s Day 4 of the free Can You Hula like Hilo Hattie promotion.  My BFF, Rey, loves that word f-r-e-e; she’s been trilling it all morning long.

Hula marks our first official case as private investigators; we’ve been hired to find out what secret a millionaire’s pretty, young wife is keeping.  Unfortunately, before we discover what it is, she’s found floating in the Pacific.  And the secret?  It’s one of many, and not all hers.

Instead of providing a synopsis today, here’s an excerpt:

What we’d unearthed in the preceding days extended to the sordid world of drugs and gambling, two ugly and dangerous addictions that could drag you under and far like the Molaka’i Express, which was the crossing of the Kaiwi Channel from volcano-formed Molaka’i, Hawaii’s fifth largest island, and possessed exceptionally strong currents. If the vice didn’t batter you, the enabler—the human component—was there to ensure you remained dependent, paid up and/or stayed high, and never screwed him or her.

“Man, she must have really pissed someone off.”

“Big time.” I peered across the darkening Pacific and reflected on that which had brought us to Hawaii: a desire to open our own P.I. agency. But the body sprawled across rough wave-soaked rocks begged one crucial question: what did a meteorologist, actress, and scriptwriting assistant know about detecting? So what if they’d played amateur sleuths several months ago during a murder-filled week at an eerie Connecticut mansion? That didn’t grant them the expertise or street smarts to manage a bona-fide case.

. . . But maybe the more imperative question at the moment was: how were they going to explain a simple undercover-case gone terribly wrong?

Won’t you please check us out at:

https://www.amazon.ca/Hula-Hattie-Triple-Threat-Mystery-ebook/dp/B01KEEBNOS

 

 

The Third – Have You Heard?

Can you Hula like Hilo Hattie is free on the third promo day!

It’s Linda again today (Rey’s on monk-seal volunteer duty today and JJ’s at the animal shelter).

In Hula, we’ve become official private investigators and established the Triple Threat Investigation Agency (the name, by the by, was Rey’s idea).

And we have our first official paying assignment: to discover the “secret” of an elderly millionaire’s young, pretty wife.

It seems clear-cut . . . until she’s found floating in the stunning sapphire waters of a deserted beach.  The three of us endeavor to uncover the killer amid a cast of curious characters and do uncover a few secrets, but not all belong to the deceased wife.  A few bodies fall at our feet, too.  What initially seemed a simple case evolves into a complicated one.

While piecing together the puzzle, we take a few detours—to the sordid and dodgy domains of drug pushers, informants, and gangs.  These folks are serious game players who play for serious keeps.

If you’d like to find out how we fare, please check us out at:

https://www.amazon.ca/Hula-Hattie-Triple-Threat-Mystery-ebook/dp/B01KEEBNOS

The Second has been Beckoned

The second day of the free Can You Hula like Hilo Hattie promotion has arrived—beckoned like a mound of banana-mango shave ice on a 90-degree day.

Hula marks our first official—paying—case as private investigators.  My best friend, Rey, and her cousin, JJ, have been hired to find out what a millionaire’s pretty, young wife is up to.  Unfortunately, before we discover what that is, she’s found swimming in the ocean . . . face down.

Our case takes us to a variety of places, some dingy, some dangerous.  We meet gang members, drug dealers, and a druggie (who we attempt to get back on the straight and narrow).  JJ also meets a dark and handsome stranger who fixates on her.

A few bodies cross our paths, too, and we scramble to piece together a rather bizarre puzzle.  It’s a wild ride, as Rey just said (with a slap to the back and a theatrical  wink), or madcap as JJ just threw out (with a thumb’s up).  <LOL>

Maybe you’d like to check out how our professional sleuthing skills develop?  What have you got to lose?  Not one penny . . . because it’s free.

Aloha Sunday.

https://www.amazon.ca/Hula-Hattie-Triple-Threat-Mystery-ebook/dp/B01KEEBNOS

Immersed in the First . . .

. . . day of the Can You Hula like Hilo Hattie promotion.  It’s free!

It’s Linda on post patrol for the duration of the Hula promo (which runs today through the 17th).

It’s our first official case as professional private investigators.  We even have our own agency on Oahu: The Triple Threat Investigation Agency.  It was Rey’s idea to become P.I.s, as was the name suggestion; given JJ and I rarely, if ever, win when it comes to Rey, we went with it (with rolls of the eyes and sighs).

The three of us have been hired to uncover the secret of an elderly millionaire’s pretty, young wife.  There’s a dark twist though: pretty, young wife is found dead in the waters of the Pacific.  And there’s a secret all right, one of many and not all hers.

As we’re collecting clues, we trip across a few bodies along the way . . . with a sundry of suspects to choose from.  There’s a crazy druggie, a weird drug dealer or two, and a crotchety gang member or three.  We do make some enemies, but we also form a few friendships.

What seems a straightforward task becomes anything but.  Thanks to a bizarre week in Connecticut, however, we’re used to dealing with murderers and quirky personalities.  And we have enough faith in our developing talents to persevere and solve this challenging case.  As Rey called it, it’s “one heckuva fun ride”.

Maybe you’d like to find out just how much fun?  Here are some Amazon links courtesy of our Boss:

https://www.amazon.ca/Hula-Hattie-Triple-Threat-Mystery-ebook/dp/B01KEEBNOS

https://www.amazon.com/Tyler-Colins/e/B01KHOZAL2%3Fref=dbs_a_mng_rwt_scns_share

https://www.amazon.com/kindle-dbs/entity/author/B01KHOZAL2?_encoding=UTF8&node=618073011&offset=0&pageSize=12&searchAlias=stripbooks&sort=author-pages-popularity-rank&page=1&langFilter=default#formatSelectorHeader

Have a marvelous Saturday!

1, 2, 3, 4, 5 . . . 5, 4, 3, 2, 1

Yeah, no rhyme or reason re the title, but it seemed as good a one as any . . . because it’s Day 5—the last one—of the free promotion of The Connecticut Corpse Caper!

If you like old mystery movies with creepy mansions, hidden passageways, and multiple corpses, Caper’s for you.  And solving this caper proves both challenging and exciting . . . and maybe a little scary, too.  Okay, maybe a lot scary.  <he-he>

Hey, with a description like this of eccentric Aunt Mat’s place, how could you not have a thrill or chill or two?  (You just know something major is going to happen!)

“Hell” was the best word to describe the Moone Connecticut estate. The mansion resembled a demon’s lair and could serve as a horror film director’s dream setting. Dark and untamed, it promoted an underworld quality. Yet everything on the sweeping grounds also held a sense of harmony, as if the neglect, almost perfect in its precision, had been carefully executed.

A thick arc of dead rosebushes encircling a lopsided fountain of capering cherubs boasted stark, disconcerting symmetry while a large overrun garden, lifeless herb patch, and circular clump of dogwood possessed an oddly unsettling order.

Situated on the far eastern corner of the estate was an elaborate stone gazebo enfolded by lifeless ivy twisted like sinewy, arthritic arms. Beyond it stood a perfectly aligned grove of cedars. With its unique aesthetic quality, the land was reminiscent of Futurist artist Giacomo Balla’s later figurative works.

Please check us out at:

https://www.amazon.ca/Connecticut-Corpse-Triple-Threat-Mystery-ebook/dp/B01KEDWHMG

Not Too Many More, We’re at Day Four

Day Four of the free (!) promotion of The Connecticut Corpse Caper . . . featuring me (lovely Rey), my cute Cousin Jilly (also known as JJ), and my BFF, Linda (she’s a peach).

That crazy week there motivated us three to become professional private eyes; for three non-detectives, we did an awesome job solving the “case”.   Here’s a summary that Linda wrote a wee while back:

A week-long stay in a creepy oversize Connecticut mansion is awash with hidden passageways, disappearing and reappearing corpses, and seven quirky inheritance recipients.  And if that’s not enough to make for hair-raising moments on a secluded storm-bound estate, how about a ghost named Fred that roams the hallways?

A stipulation in the will of JJ’s eccentric aunt: if a guest leaves early, his or her share will be divided among those remaining.  The first one to leave—permanently—dies just hours after arriving.

People soon start dropping like flies.  Donning amateur sleuth caps, we endeavor to solve the mystifying murders.  Others jump in, and the bumbling and stumbling—and mayhem—begin.

Yeah, I like that.  Good work, Lindy-Loo!

Please check us out at:

https://www.amazon.ca/Connecticut-Corpse-Triple-Threat-Mystery-ebook/dp/B01KEDWHMG

 

Free, Free, Free . . . Three, Three, Three

Hey there, it’s Rey, and we’re entering Day Three of the FREE promo—that’s right, F-R-E-E.  For $0 you can get a copy of The Connecticut Corpse Caper.

What can you expect?  Lots of entertaining excitement and eerie events.  A real haunted antebellum mansion, murder and mayhem (with several corpses found in the oddest of places), and a slew of zany suspects.

The crazy happenings inspired JJ, Linda and me to set up shop on Oahu and become official P.I.s.  We’re very proud of the Triple Threat Investigation Agency and are doing pretty decent, if I do say so myself . . . and I do.

Please check us out at:

https://www.amazon.ca/Connecticut-Corpse-Triple-Threat-Mystery-ebook/dp/B01KEDWHMG

Yabba Dabba Doo, It’s Day Two!

Gotta love Fred Flintstone’s enthusiasm—I’m yabba-dabba-dooing over day two of the FREE promo for The Connecticut Corpse Caper.

 It’s Rey again.  How ya doin’?

If you’re interested in learning how JJ, Linda and I—the private eyes of The Triple Threat Investigation Agency got our inspiration to pursue this profession—please check out the book.

There are some fun times and weird happenings: a resident ghost in whacky Aunt Mat’s mansion, a week-long “must stay” to collect a share of the inheritance (the poor dear swooned over a theater balcony, what a way to go), hidden rooms and passageways . . . and a murder or three or more.

Remember it’s free (a word dear to my heart).  Please check us out at . . .

https://www.amazon.ca/Connecticut-Corpse-Triple-Threat-Mystery-ebook/dp/B01KEDWHMG