I’ve been taking care of Mom for a long time. As a sole caregiver (no friends or family or outside support), it’s been quite a learning experience to say the least. It’s also been difficult—and I’ll admit it—something that I’ve sometimes resented. I’m human and I’m old(er). At this stage, I believed I’d [finally] be my own person. That’s okay; as Joanie would say, it is what it is. <LOL>
This past weekend, life threw one of those curveballs. Mom fell and ended in ER—twice. Now, I/we must face the reality that I can no longer do this solo while working full-time (to not work would mean living on the street, so quitting is not an option).
A new world is opening up—I’m not sure I like this one. Maybe it’s that the ensuing disorders and difficulties that arrive with old age scare the <bleep> out of me. To see it in Mom means to [eventually] see it in myself.
Despite the issues, Mom doesn’t think of herself as old—except when the mirror provides an unwanted reality check. Her having to cope with a body that has decided to do its own thing is proving challenging and more than annoying, and I totally get that. We all like to be in control.
So-o when life hands you lemons, you make lemonade, as they say. And if the pucker level is so tart that it rumples and crumples your face? You add sweetness, as much as you need to smooth the folds.
Here’s to life and its challenges. May they help us develop, but not despair . . . learn, but not lose hope.