Adieu . . . 2022

Farewell 2022—stated with non-fondness. 

This year, without question, was beyond challenging.  It may well have been the worst year in my entire [long] life.  Perhaps it’s selfish to focus on me when there have been [countless] dire and heart-wrenching events around the world, but I haven’t posted in some time and I feel a [great] need to bare my soul, at least a little. 

I suppose it’s really a purge—the elimination of all that’s been ugly or destructive or belittling or just not worth carrying around anymore (as in excess baggage)

Decades of mom-care burned me out.  Sleeping three hours a night burned me out.  Working a full-time job (12 hours a day) while executing the aforementioned mom-care burned me out.  Not having any friends or social life burned me out.  Having minimal support burned me out.  Having “the system” claim my mother was capable of making her own decisions—when clearly everyone else could see that she was not—burned me out.  My anger and resentment, my weariness, my I-can’t-do-this-anymore and let-me-not-wake-up-again feelings burned me out.

Yes, it was a bad year.  My mother is now in a long-term facility and it’s a good one, so thank goodness for that.  That the staff don’t allow me much peace is another issue, but I am learning to cope with that, and I’m getting better, calmer, more resilient.

I got to go to Hawaii at the end of October this year . . . a place where I feel at peace.  It’s where I belong.  And it’s not about sunshine and palm trees.  It’s about spirit.  The trip there was a nightmare—everything went wrong.  I surely thought my perpetual bad luck would just continue, and I was very tempted to just turn tail the night of arrival and return home.  After the second day, however, it got better.  I walked miles every day, enjoyed the simplicity of being.  Felt that maybe things would finally calm and that maybe life wouldn’t continue not going my way.  😉  That the long-term folks wouldn’t give me any peace while I was there (despite knowing I desperately needed to de-stress) is another story, and one that will remain unwritten.   

My goal, my resolution for 2023, is simply to go with the flow.  That’s it, that’s all.  To embrace the last years of my life—no longer  manipulated/controlled by another person—however they unfold. 

Among other things, I intend to complete the next book in my mystery series, get my website going (and the blog redesigned), post  regularly again of course, become a full-time editor, and return to Hawaii.

I will not look back or be angry or resentful for the years that I’ve lost.  I will look forward to new lessons being learned, developing into a better and composed person . . . and moving on.  😉

May 2023 be a [much] better year . . . and an awesome one for you and yours. 

Author: tylerus

I'm primarily a writer of fiction and blog posts, and a sometimes editor and proofreader of books, manuals, and film/television scripts. Fact-checking and researching, organizing and coordinating are skills and joys (I enjoy playing detective and developing structure). My fiction audience: lovers of female-sleuth mysteries. My genres of preference: mysteries (needless to say), women’s fiction, informative and helpful “affirmative” non-fiction. So-o, here I am, staring up a new blog for aspiring and established e-Book writers. The plan: to share the (long) journey of getting to this stage, and share "learnings" and "teachings". There's a lot I hope to accomplish with this blog, but it may be a while before that happens as there's a lot on the ol' plate - taking care of Mom, working full-time, and attempting to get another book in the Triple Threat Investigation Agency series written (never mind blog postings and other writing projects). It's very challenging and it's all good. As I like to say: teeny focused baby steps are just as effective as long forceful strides. It may take a little longer, but we will get there.

2 thoughts on “Adieu . . . 2022”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Judy Hogan Writes

ramblings of an apprentice author

The Nightingale

Maria Konnel - Youg Adult Fantasy Author

Avisha Rasminda

Hi, I'm Avisha Rasminda Twenty One years old, Introduce Myself As A Author , Painter , A Poet.

Random Ramblings

Random rants, musings and opinions that nobody asked for :)

KRISHNA KUMAR SINGH

KNOWLEDGE AND TIPS

J. P. D. T.

Blogs, Stories, and Poetries

MisaeMich :)

...inspiration through words...

Fantasylife

Don't forget to be awesome!

JOURNEY towards the Perfect Communicator

Hi! I'm Rev. Fr. John Mark, Religious Priest, Spiritual Director of SLRP Youth Ministry

RovingBookwormNG

Books. Poetry. Podcast. Travel.

The Wild Heart of Life

Creative Nonfiction & Poetry

Wise & Shine

A community for writers & readers

She Got Wings!

Self-development

A Holistic Journey

Finding my way back out of motherhood -- while mothering

Joan Wiley

Wayward Writer

%d bloggers like this: