Lookin’ for a Laugh

Who couldn’t use a good laugh or chuckle?  I know I’ve been way too dry in the mirth department for way too long.  Maybe you have, too?  When life gets [way too] serious, embracing some humor and merriment is a very good thing. 

As such, I thought I’d deviate a bit today and post jokes related to writing and writers.  I’d love to claim them as my own, but sadly, I have no affinity for puns and gags.  In fact, the only one I can recall is:

Bon:  Did you hear about the peanut walking along the sidewalk?     Mot:  No.  What happened?     Bon:  He was assaulted!

Ha-ha, get it <nudge, nudge>?  He was . . . a salted.  Yeah, like I said, no affinity.  But I’m good at researching and searching, so here are a few jokes (posted on a number of sites) that just might bring a smile to that writer/blogger face.

How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?  Two.  One to screw the bulb almost all the way in and one to give it a surprising twist.

How many screenwriters does it take to change a light bulb?  . . . Ten!

1st draft: Hero changes light bulb.
2nd draft: Villain changes light bulb.
3rd draft: Hero stops villain from changing light bulb. Villain falls to death.
4th draft: Lose the light bulb. 
5th draft: Light bulb back in. Fluorescent instead of tungsten.
6th draft: Villain breaks bulb, uses it to kill hero’s mentor.
7th draft: Fluorescent not working. Back to tungsten.
8th draft: Hero forces villain to eat light bulb.
9th draft: Hero laments loss of light bulb. Doesn’t change it.
10th draft: Hero changes light bulb.

Three guys are sitting at a bar.
#Guy1: “. . . Yeah, I make $75,000 a year after taxes.”
#Guy2: “What do you do for a living?”
#Guy1: “I’m a stockbroker.  How much do you make?
#Guy2: “I should clear $60,000 this year.”
#Guy1: “Awesome.  What do you do?”
#Guy2: “I’m an architect.”
The third guy has been sitting there quietly, staring into his beer, when the others turn to him.
#Guy2: “Hey, how much do you make per year?”
#Guy3: “I guess around $13,000.”
#Guy1: “Really?  What kind of stories do you write?”

A writer walks into a bar.  The bartender says, “Have you written 1000 words today?  You told me to not sell you a drink until you hit your word count goal for the day.”  . . . A writer walks out of a bar.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you supposed to be finishing your current draft instead of reading jokes for writers?

Then there are those witty comments/statements by authors and celebs that do wonders for prompting smiles and chuckles.

The road to hell is paved with adverbs.
♦  Stephen King

If the English language made any sense, lackadaisical would have something to do with a shortage of flowers.
♦   Doug Larson

It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn’t give it up because by that time I was too famous.
♦   Robert Benchley

Here’s one that comes under “funny food for thought”:

If writers were good businessmen, they’d have too much sense to be writers.
♦   Irvin Cobb

Here’s to a brighter day . . . smile, my friends, smile.

Author: tylerus

I'm primarily a writer of fiction and blog posts, and a sometimes editor and proofreader of books, manuals, and film/television scripts. Fact-checking and researching, organizing and coordinating are skills and joys (I enjoy playing detective and developing structure). My fiction audience: lovers of female-sleuth mysteries. My genres of preference: mysteries (needless to say), women’s fiction, informative and helpful “affirmative” non-fiction. So-o, here I am, staring up a new blog for aspiring and established e-Book writers. The plan: to share the (long) journey of getting to this stage, and share "learnings" and "teachings". There's a lot I hope to accomplish with this blog, but it may be a while before that happens as there's a lot on the ol' plate - taking care of Mom, working full-time, and attempting to get another book in the Triple Threat Investigation Agency series written (never mind blog postings and other writing projects). It's very challenging and it's all good. As I like to say: teeny focused baby steps are just as effective as long forceful strides. It may take a little longer, but we will get there. View all posts by tylerus