Who couldn’t use a good laugh or chuckle? I know I’ve been way too dry in the mirth department for way too long. Maybe you have, too? When life gets [way too] serious, embracing some humor and merriment is a very good thing.
As such, I thought I’d deviate a bit today and post jokes related to writing and writers. I’d love to claim them as my own, but sadly, I have no affinity for puns and gags. In fact, the only one I can recall is:
Bon: Did you hear about the peanut walking along the sidewalk? Mot: No. What happened? Bon: He was assaulted!
Ha-ha, get it <nudge, nudge>? He was . . . a salted. Yeah, like I said, no affinity. But I’m good at researching and searching, so here are a few jokes (posted on a number of sites) that just might bring a smile to that writer/blogger face.
How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to screw the bulb almost all the way in and one to give it a surprising twist.
How many screenwriters does it take to change a light bulb? . . . Ten!
1st draft: Hero changes light bulb.
2nd draft: Villain changes light bulb.
3rd draft: Hero stops villain from changing light bulb. Villain falls to death.
4th draft: Lose the light bulb.
5th draft: Light bulb back in. Fluorescent instead of tungsten.
6th draft: Villain breaks bulb, uses it to kill hero’s mentor.
7th draft: Fluorescent not working. Back to tungsten.
8th draft: Hero forces villain to eat light bulb.
9th draft: Hero laments loss of light bulb. Doesn’t change it.
10th draft: Hero changes light bulb.
Three guys are sitting at a bar.
#Guy1: “. . . Yeah, I make $75,000 a year after taxes.”
#Guy2: “What do you do for a living?”
#Guy1: “I’m a stockbroker. How much do you make?
#Guy2: “I should clear $60,000 this year.”
#Guy1: “Awesome. What do you do?”
#Guy2: “I’m an architect.”
The third guy has been sitting there quietly, staring into his beer, when the others turn to him.
#Guy2: “Hey, how much do you make per year?”
#Guy3: “I guess around $13,000.”
#Guy1: “Really? What kind of stories do you write?”
A writer walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Have you written 1000 words today? You told me to not sell you a drink until you hit your word count goal for the day.” . . . A writer walks out of a bar.
Orange you supposed to be finishing your current draft instead of reading jokes for writers?
Then there are those witty comments/statements by authors and celebs that do wonders for prompting smiles and chuckles.
The road to hell is paved with adverbs.
♦ Stephen King
If the English language made any sense, lackadaisical would have something to do with a shortage of flowers.
♦ Doug Larson
It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn’t give it up because by that time I was too famous.
♦ Robert Benchley
Here’s one that comes under “funny food for thought”:
If writers were good businessmen, they’d have too much sense to be writers.
♦ Irvin Cobb
Here’s to a brighter day . . . smile, my friends, smile.